I often think I would be a fabulous first century Jew.
Oh, I am sure I would have missed the Messiah, and likley thought the disciples had lost some marbles, but oh, would I have been a great Jew. I think I would have welcomed the rules of Juadism, the Torah and the Talmud, so I had an answer for every scenrio, and a law to ensure I followed them. I have a slight addiction to rules, regulations and routines and though I work to rid myself of them, rules often rear their ugly head and I smile sweetly embracing them with loving and comfortable arms. When it comes to the idea of Kingdom Economy, I wish I had a nice long scroll to spell out my next steps and ensure I was doing the right thing.
See, the ugly rules again.
Perhaps my Jewish brothers and sisters don't see their faith as simple as I have presented it and I by no stretch of the imagination mean to offend their rich and textured faith. As a Christ-follower, believing the Messiah has come, I find myself in the realm of grace instead of law and often I find that grace confusing.
I wish someone would just tell me what to buy. Give me some rules, give me some guidelines and let me know when I have stepped out too far. Tell me what car to buy, where to shop, and how much to spend on concerts. And of course, my fallen nature would love the list, so not only could I judge myself, but then I could judge others.
Do you ever feel that way, or am I alone?
I want to bask in the glory of grace and the freedom that Christ gives, but when it comes to money and my relationship to it, I wish I had some more guidelines. My spirit resonates with those who live in community, surviving with very little possessions and engaging the lower income communities they usually live in. My spirit also resonates with those who have children and families and own modest homes, but intentionally live on less to enjoy radical generosity. There is something so enticing about a community of faith that loves the orphan and the widow, that doesn't just serve the poor, but the poor are among them and are family.
But how those beautiful expressions of faith effect my life when I am at the checkout, sometimes gets lost in translation.
Perhaps that is the whole point of journeying with Christ and working out our faith with fear and trembling. Perhaps it is walking the fine balance of living in this world, but not being of it and walking the counter cultural way of Christ in our cities and towns. Perhaps not having all the answers facilitates conferences like this upcoming one, causing us to meet together to ignite imagination and creativity in searching how we might reorient our finances to really serve the Kingdom of Christ and not just pay it lip service.
I don't suspect I will get that scroll of "Kingdom Economy" rules anytime soon, but perhaps I should be more concerned with the scroll of grace that is being written on my heart and the beauty of the journey with Christ as He walks with me in and out of bank account. I don't always like surprises, but maybe Jesus asks us to work out our relationship to his Kingdom economy because He is looking to bring about a surprising result, with more beauty and truth then rules could ever create.
So as I hang in the balance, between my want for those ugly rules and my attraction to radical grace, I do what I can to be faithful to what I know. And as always, hoping that next time the rules come knocking, I don't answer the door.
